Where is the goddam heart?

I howled, really howled with the pain  this week.

Not my own pain, not even my families pain, but for members of my #PeaceWithPDA tribe. 

I cried out and I sobbed as I asked the universe ‘Where can we find the love, the light, the care, for these children right now?’

PDA Society


Things were looking bleak for more than one family I know and love, as if they’d really fallen into a hole.

That’s not something I come here to share usually.

I choose to write messages of love, hope, and peace!

But, sometimes we are all faced with what appears to be a dead end or an unbearable moment for our family, so let’s bring that into the open as we explore how we handle that as positive, loving, & uplifting parents. 

I am taking about families I know well.

Loving families!

Families trying so hard!

Strong and amazing parents who are open, and asking for help, and have been let down over and over and over again until it reaches what’s considered crisis intervention point. 

It’s plain to see as a parent we just need someone to listen to us and our children, to take some time, and to work with us to bring some relief.

However we don’t fit the ‘system’ and on time goes with the same…

‘You must come to us’

‘You must fit our schedule’

‘Your child must do as we say’

…approach until everyone is too tired and in too much pain to know where to turn next. 

As a society how has it come to such a lack of connection and compassion in what we all care?

Where’s the relationship gone that builds a bridge to trust?

I know, I know – time, funding blah blah but even accepting that (which I don’t btw) there is something much more missing which is the HEART of the matter. 

Pathological Demand Avoidance

    Peace With PDA

We are so blessed that we’ve found a wonderful dentist.

She runs a regular practice but she also goes out of her way to meet my child where she is.

She helps us schedule appointments at a time of day we have a chance of getting to.

She knows we may cancel appointments even last minute due to anxiety.

She knows we are all trying our best and does not scorn or penalise.

She understands it’s less frightening to sit in a regular room than a room with a dental chair so that’s what we do!

She speaks directly and gently to our child and explains about the equipment and why she uses it.

She asks permission to look in our child’s mouth and gives them choices and respect all the way.

She is in our team!

She is trusted!

So as I was hearing the stuckness and struggles of these families this week I wondered to myself how can I, and how can WE with the power of our group consciousness hold a desire in our hearts that spreads across the world and that makes a difference?

Pathological Demand Avoidance

Peace With PDA

I teach parents how to shift their thinking and feelings through the use of techniques like Emotional Freedom Techniques. 

As we gently release the belief we are stuck, even when it seems to be the ultimate truth because we can’t see any way forward, we allow a new space to open where a little light can enter. A peaceful space where intuition can nudge us to find that one perfect person, place or thing just for that moment.

Then comes the next and the next. 

This is the work I’ve been doing this week, and we’ve been doing together to be able to keep our hearts and minds open.

That is where we begin ?