Home School

PDA Parent in a bind!

We want to protect our children, rightly so, from deficit thinking, from feeling they are a problem because to us they are perfect.  When we ask for support there seems to be a mindset that hears ‘Please change my child to make life easier’ and NO we just mean give us a hand! “Hey world...
  • My washing up needs doing and my child needs me to be with them all day so could you wash up?
  • My child needs some sensory toys to help them regulate them so could you help me pay for them?
  • My child can’t be safe in a car park but we need to go to the shop so could you drive us and drop us by the door or could you give us a disabled parking badge as they have an ‘invisible’ disability?
  • My child is really sick and needs to see a GP but is deeply anxious and unable to attend the surgery so could you please come to our home and come in calmly and gently to see them?
  • I need a shower and I need someone we know well to roleplay being a dog with my child for half an hour so they are comfortable for me to go. 
You know, actual real help that comes from kindness and understanding, and from relationship!
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The Undoing

However, the movement we truly want, the relief, the deep breath out, comes from a very different space. It comes from a heart space that we can’t connect with when we are pushing against what is here and now.  The relief comes in with surrender, softness, acceptance, & connection. 
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PDA Society

The Responsible Parent

I see you We see you You are doing a wonderful wonderful job Asking questions matters! Connection & Compassion matter! Autonomy matters! Your wisdom matters! If today you are feeling wobbly I would like to hold your hand and reassure you that although you don’t have all the answers that no one else does either so sing your expertise with confidence and remember to smile and enjoy the ride.
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