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It feels, doesn’t it, that in fact the very freedom I’m speaking to you of here is either at odds with your child’s need for autonomy and freedom OR your freedom is squashed and stifled in order for you to lovingly meet their needs as I know you so wish to.
#PDA #PathologicalDemandAvoidance #Autism #Autistic
Together we are being aware and choosing our place in this world deliberately where we are celebrating ourselves for the sensitive beings we are. The light bringers, the change makers, the soothers, the advocates, the open hearted and loving!
Lining ourselves up with all we truly are.
As we embrace the contrast that shows up in our lives and celebrate how that helps us see so clearly what we DO want for us and for our children, we are laying down an important path ahead.
No one else can do this for us. This is our call to step up for our children, and for ourselves which is where all change truly happens.
Trust me, we put waaay to much pressure on ourselves!
We don’t need anymore Thank-You!
We come across goldmines like Facebook groups with other PDA parents in, and ‘The PDA Society’ website and we start to realise we are not alone and there is no blame here! Phew!
That’s a massive relief and we set about finding out all the best ways to finally give our child the best of support and we, as advised by the experts, make adjustments to their environment. We see massive changes and all seems to finally be coming together. We start to see the light shine through.
It’s plain to see as a parent we just need someone to listen to us and our children, to take some time, and to work with us to bring some relief.
However we don’t fit the ‘system’ and on time goes with the same...
‘You must come to us’
‘You must fit our schedule’
‘Your child must do as we say’
...approach, until everyone is too tired and in too much pain to know where to turn next.
As a society how has it come to such a lack of personal connection and compassion within the system we all call ‘care’?
However, the movement we truly want, the relief, the deep breath out, comes from a very different space.
It comes from a heart space that we can’t connect with when we are pushing against what is here and now.
The relief comes in with surrender, softness, acceptance, & connection.
I see you
We see you
You are doing a wonderful wonderful job
Asking questions matters!
Connection & Compassion matter!
Your wisdom matters!
If today you are feeling wobbly I would like to hold your hand and reassure you that although you don’t have all the answers that no one else does either so sing your expertise with confidence and remember to smile and enjoy the ride.
“You need a break!” they say
“I do” I say
“You must be exhausted!” they say
“I manage” I say
“You should really take care of yourself” they say
“I really do try” I say
“Are you not willing to let any help in ? they say
“I really am” I say!
When we finally draw that line, we are sometimes perceived as angry, defensive, closed off, not coping etc, and we need our friends who understand (or at least know how hard it can be) to hold us a little deeper and more tenderly as we rebirth ourselves - not tougher - but more real, more open hearted and more aligned with our truth than ever before.
Our children may find birthdays a wonderful and yet equally challenging time.
Many of the amazing parents I connect with find it an overwhelming, exhausting, and emotional time themselves.
I hope you enjoy my thoughts on stuckness, options, freedom, and of course EFT in this video.
Thankyou to those in our Peace With PDA group who inspired this topic. I hope it brings you some insights and relief.
When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out - because that’s what’s inside.
When you are squeezed, what comes out is what’s inside.
Wayne W Dyer
I’m not flaky, disorganised, or inconsistent although I can appear that way to some because of the extreme flexibility I’ve chosen to give my child from my generous heart...as I see you doing also.
I’m not over sensitive or fussy because I’m tuned into someone who depends on my emotional barometer to support them...as I see you doing also.
Before I turn you right off saying I’m going to talk about meditation can I please remind you I want only to help you tune into your own power, knowing, and well-being as a parent AND as a parent to a child with PDA myself I’m all about practical and easy to pick up ways to get there!
“When a turbulent mind
And a wounded heart
Surrender to grace
Breathing is easy”
#PDA #PathologicalDemandAvoidance #PeaceWithPDA