Space: the final frontier

To boldly go where no one has gone before…

PeacewithPDA Lindsay Guttridge

Peace With PDA

“When I hear the word space, I feel holding it for someone really needs generosity of spirit”

Aakriti yashwardhan

In peaceful parenting groups we often talk about ‘holding space’ for our children. 

I think parents use that phrase in many different ways, all of which are a profound gift to give our children. 

Holding space to me means sweetness, gentleness, loving, and peacefulness. 

“You’re in the arms of the Angel

May you find some comfort here”

Sarah McLachlan

PDA Pathological Demand Avoidance Autism

Parenting a child with PDA

Holding space leaves us open and vulnerable. 

It means entirely surrendering control.

To be fully present we cannot know what will come next or be invested in a certain outcome. 

We cannot mould, or lead the way. 

Be with me

here and now

as you read the words on this page. 

Take a moment to breathe deeply and feel space within your physical body.

Experience the sensation of space rather than the thought of it. 

Now, become deeply aware of this moment you are in.

Feel the presence of being in this moment

and feel the space of a moment where there is no past

or future knocking.

Only now!

When we are focused in the past or the future and locked in time we are constricted.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) can support you in letting go as your awareness turns to thoughts, beliefs, and physical sensations that pull you away from resting fully in this moment. 

We notice that in the physical sensations of our body such as shallow breathing or tension in our shoulders.

We notice that our thoughts can take us out of this moment and try predicting what’s to happen next, or regretting something that happened before. 

Children are so much more instinctively in the moment than adults who have slowly been trained out of being present here and now

Children ARE spacious.

Children are the gift that bring us back to remembering our own spaciousness.

If we want to hold space we must KNOW space within ourselves first. 

EFT Tapping

Emotional Freedom Techniques

It’s not an intellectual knowing

It’s an experience.

Space is Love

Love yourself

Take up space 

“Be in this moment

There has only been NOW”

Dr. Wayne Dyer

There are some things that get in the way of us holding space.

When my needs are not met it’s very hard to hold space for another’s needs.

When I have an agenda I cannot surrender. 

When we want to receive something such a compliment or an apology from the child we are asking not giving.

When we do not know ourselves we cannot know another

When we have not healed we cannot hold a healing space for another. 

When I am triggered, and I will be, I am pulled out of this moment. 

Managing the internal process of holding space is a deeply conscious and self aware process. 

When we hold space we are not simply me and you

We are ‘we’

We become more than the sum of our parts and allow the flow of connection, inspiration, and love to move within us.

We become a vessel allowing healing to flow. 

“To allow each other to exist as is

To honour the other to be as is

To validate the other to think as is

To witness the other to grow as is

To accept the other to live as is

See no lack and resist nothing

This can only occur when we hold this space for ourselves first.”

Dr Shefali

“My presence is my superpower”

PDA Pathological Demand Avoidance