Not everyone loves to be on camera but we don’t want to miss any really awesome ‘Conversations That Counts!’ because of a small thing like that!

Let’s face it flexibility is a superpower for us parents right?!

Im Lindsay from #PeaceWithPDA and this is my written ‘Conversation That Counts’ with someone that it’s my deepest honour to share with you today, if you haven’t already had the honour for yourself. 

Today I am ‘chatting’ with the beautiful inside & out Mel Costin @LovePDA 

Pathological Demand Avoidance

Mel @LovePDA

Mel has become a cherished friend!

She lives in NZ with her beautiful family although is originally from the UK. 

Her blog ‘Love PDA’ was a treasure I first discovered when we began researching girls on the Autistic Spectrum & PDA for ourselves in 2016 when our daughter was 4yrs old, and Mel had just began blogging herself having discovered her daughter was PDA. 

Mel’s blog ‘Love PDA’ is about empowering parents of children with PDA and you can find it here>>> https://lovepda.wordpress.com/

To LOVE a person is to see all of their magic, and to remind them of it when they have forgotten 💗

So Mel, what made you decide to write a blog?

Hi Lindsay and thank you for inviting me to speak about myself and PDA.

I wrote the words I wanted to read really. I felt very depressed about PDA when my 12-year-old daughter was diagnosed 3 years ago and I was desperate for a ray of light about the condition.

I was moved by the amazing work that Jane Sherwin was doing and I felt a strange sort of calling that there was a place for something inspiring and loving to help other parents like me.

I felt a lack of love and realness in the formal things I was googling and I wanted to make it all OK.

When we went into a dark and long crisis, I had never felt so isolated and alone.

My mission since then has been to hold out a hand of friendship, the one I wished was there for me in my darkest days.

The main message I want my blog to be known for is that it is in love that we will find the answers and the goodness. 

What would you like to tell us about your lovely family?

We are a close family unit of 8, Mum, Dad, Daughter, Son, 3 fur babies and a very fat pet Sheep named Stu.

We spend a lot of time together including a home cooked family meal every night at 6pm, this is when we chat about our days. Our kitchen is the hub of the home and there is always lots of laughter. We have a smelly dog called Wilma who gets the micky taken out of her all the time (hopefully she thinks we are laughing with her not at her!) My favorite time is when all my babies are in one room together (apart from Stu!), safe and sound and happy. 

Can you tell us about the awareness of PDA where you live?

Awareness in New Zealand is limited but we do have some professionals who are accepting of PDA.

Our Facebook group now has 103 members and because we are such a small and connected country, we can all share positive information about PDA. I have recently started a group for parent’s in my home town and we are planning our first meeting soon.

This is a step in supporting others and hopefully gaining more recognition. 

What do you hope for parents of children with PDA for the future?

I pray for the day when PDA can be seen.

When parents are not judged but supported and celebrated.

Where we can say PDA and not have to explain what it is.

Where humans can adapt to the needs of PDA people, that they just recognize, accept and know that we are all unique but we are also all from the same.

For peace. 

PeacewithPDA - Lindsay Guttridge

Love PDA 💗 Peace With PDA

If you could have 1 wish for children with PDA what would it be?

Just to be seen fully and unconditionally.

To be recognized for the gifts and beauty they are here to show us and teach us. 

What would you say you’ve learnt from your children?

Oh wow, what haven’t I learnt yet is the question I always ask myself. But to recognize some of the things I have learnt, I would say. That love just gets bigger and better and more every day.

My kids have taught me to listen and observe and look at every angle of every challenge because nothing is ever just one layer.

When in the middle of a science explosion in my kitchen with my excited son for example, I have learnt to really cherish the moment for what it is and not worry about the future or the past.

Seeing joy in children is the biggest reward anyone could ever wish for. Children are our teachers. 

What are the nuggets of wisdom you’d like to go back in time and share with yourself? 

I would tell myself that everything I need is right inside me.

It’s taken me a while to figure that out, but if I did go back in time and tell that to myself, would I have understood?

I believe I had to go through extreme hardship and difficulties to realize the truth for myself.

I try to share the wisdom I have gained over the years in the hope it will help others to help themselves, but we are all on our own journeys. 

I know you’re a big fan of EFT and you’ve blogged about it already so briefly tell us what you love about it?

EFT is the perfect way to stop and tune in very quickly and effectively. To me, as soon as that hand goes up, tap, tap, tap a switch goes over.

Like a portal to the inside, a tap on a magic door to our own power.

The tap says, let me in and then you say hello to the other you, the one that can sooth away all the troubles.

I have had some very clear and amazing results with EFT and tell everyone I meet about it!

Thank you for bringing it to me Lindsay and for everything you do. x

EFT

Emotional Freedom Techniques

Mel I love and appreciate you and your blog, the wisdom and support you share in my FB group, and I see you for the mothering you do each day. 

Thanks for letting us share another piece of you today!

Keep on shining, Lindsay x

Remember anxiety is contagious

– & so is calm!

The Calm Parent

For more ‘Converstaions That Count!’ and videos about PDA please head over to my YouTube Channel and subscribe now!