However, the movement we truly want, the relief, the deep breath out, comes from a very different space.
It comes from a heart space that we can’t connect with when we are pushing against what is here and now.
The relief comes in with surrender, softness, acceptance, & connection.
I see you
We see you
You are doing a wonderful wonderful job
Asking questions matters!
Connection & Compassion matter!
Your wisdom matters!
If today you are feeling wobbly I would like to hold your hand and reassure you that although you don’t have all the answers that no one else does either so sing your expertise with confidence and remember to smile and enjoy the ride.
“You need a break!” they say
“I do” I say
“You must be exhausted!” they say
“I manage” I say
“You should really take care of yourself” they say
“I really do try” I say
“Are you not willing to let any help in ? they say
“I really am” I say!
When we finally draw that line, we are sometimes perceived as angry, defensive, closed off, not coping etc, and we need our friends who understand (or at least know how hard it can be) to hold us a little deeper and more tenderly as we rebirth ourselves - not tougher - but more real, more open hearted and more aligned with our truth than ever before.
Our children may find birthdays a wonderful and yet equally challenging time.
Many of the amazing parents I connect with find it an overwhelming, exhausting, and emotional time themselves.
I hope you enjoy my thoughts on stuckness, options, freedom, and of course EFT in this video.
Thankyou to those in our Peace With PDA group who inspired this topic. I hope it brings you some insights and relief.
When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out - because that’s what’s inside.
When you are squeezed, what comes out is what’s inside.
Wayne W Dyer
I’m not flaky, disorganised, or inconsistent although I can appear that way to some because of the extreme flexibility I’ve chosen to give my child from my generous heart...as I see you doing also.
I’m not over sensitive or fussy because I’m tuned into someone who depends on my emotional barometer to support them...as I see you doing also.
Before I turn you right off saying I’m going to talk about meditation can I please remind you I want only to help you tune into your own power, knowing, and well-being as a parent AND as a parent to a child with PDA myself I’m all about practical and easy to pick up ways to get there!
“When a turbulent mind
And a wounded heart
Surrender to grace
Breathing is easy”
#PDA #PathologicalDemandAvoidance #PeaceWithPDA
I pray for the day when PDA can be seen.
When parents are not judged but supported and celebrated.
Where we can say PDA and not have to explain what it is.
Where humans can adapt to the needs of PDA people, that they just recognize, accept and know that we are all unique but we are also all from the same.
There are ways you cannot change your child even if you should wish to.
There are ways teachers, family, and society cannot change your child even if they should wish to.
This makes our amazing children our greatest teachers of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!
Lucy is an astounding Well Being Coach for parents, and could not before supportive or understanding of parents with PDA.
Today she’s going to chat with us about trauma.
Trauma in parents is a specialism for Lucy and something she recognises is regularly affecting parents of children with PDA.
By no longer draining your energy away by looking back and wondering where you’ve been, why you did that, what you could have done differently etc you can focus your energy back onto where you would like to go next.
Acceptance is deep self care!
Acceptance is resilience!
That’s you struggling, and trying to know all the answers, and feeling sad, and feeling not good enough, and feeling afraid of the future, and feeling angry at the teacher, and feeling unappreciated...
So YOU are holding that cork under the water.
That’s what your negative emotions are telling you.
That’s what resistance is.
Let it go, and float into peace...
Peace With PDA
One topic I come by time and again on all the PDA forums and FB groups for parents of PDA children is the deep sense of loneliness and isolation felt by parents & carers in our community.
Loneliness can have a profound affect on our personal, mental, and physical health.
When we are focused in the past or the future and locked in time we are constricted.
Emotional Freedom Techniques can support you in letting go as your awareness turns to thoughts, beliefs, and physical sensations that pull you away from resting fully in this moment.
By gifts I don’t mean mugs & keychains.
I mean the amazing and intangible things I have abundantly more of now than ever before - since my Awesome Autistic Angel came into my life.
So, how DO we go about this somewhat daunting task of parenting our child with PDA peacefully AND joyfully here in the real world then?