Blog – Peace With PDA

Pathological Demand Avoidance

Freedom for Parents of PDAers

7th March 2019

Lindsay Guttridge

It feels, doesn’t it, that in fact the very freedom I’m speaking to you of here is either at odds with your child’s need for autonomy and freedom OR your freedom is squashed and stifled in order for you to lovingly meet their needs as I know you so wish to. #PDA #PathologicalDemandAvoidance #Autism #Autistic

Peace With PDA

The Peace Within

21st February 2019

Lindsay Guttridge

Together we are being aware and choosing our place in this world deliberately where we are celebrating ourselves for the sensitive beings we are. The light bringers, the change makers, the soothers, the advocates, the open hearted and loving! Lining ourselves up with all we truly are. As we embrace the contrast that shows up in our lives and celebrate how that helps us see so clearly what we DO want for us and for our children, we are laying down an important path ahead. No one else can do this for us. This is our call to step up for our children, and for ourselves which is where all change truly happens. #PDA #PathologicalDemandAvoidance

Walking A Different Path

9th February 2019

Lindsay Guttridge

Trust me, we put waaay to much pressure on ourselves! We don’t need anymore Thank-You! We come across goldmines like Facebook groups with other PDA parents in, and ‘The PDA Society’ website and we start to realise we are not alone and there is no blame here! Phew! That’s a massive relief and we set about finding out all the best ways to finally give our child the best of support and we, as advised by the experts, make adjustments to their environment. We see massive changes and all seems to finally be coming together. We start to see the light shine through. #PDA #PathologicalDemandAvoidance

Pathological Demand Avoidance

Where is the heart?

31st January 2019

Lindsay Guttridge

It’s plain to see as a parent we just need someone to listen to us and our children, to take some time, and to work with us to bring some relief. However we don’t fit the ‘system’ and on time goes with the same... ‘You must come to us’ ‘You must fit our schedule’ ‘Your child must do as we say’ ...approach, until everyone is too tired and in too much pain to know where to turn next. As a society how has it come to such a lack of personal connection and compassion within the system we all call ‘care’?

10 Golden Opportutinties

23rd January 2019

Lindsay Guttridge

Raising a child or young person with Pathological Demand Avoidance takes us on a B-I-G journey as a parent. Because it’s the less trodden path we can feel a bit lonely and afraid as we walk it, & that’s OK! Actually, it’s the most wonderful invitation to find where the strength and answers truly lie - Within us my friend. The journey of any parent, undertaken consciously, will always highlight our shadows and invite us to grow. “It’s no surprise we fail to tune into our children’s essence. How can we listen to them, when so many of us barely listen to ourselves? How can we feel their spirit and hear the beat of their heart if we can’t do this in our own life?” Shefali Tsabary, The Conscious Parent

PDA Parent in a bind!

19th January 2019

Lindsay Guttridge

We want to protect our children, rightly so, from deficit thinking, from feeling they are a problem because to us they are perfect. When we ask for support there seems to be a mindset that hears ‘Please change my child to make life easier’ and NO we just mean give us a hand! “Hey world...

My washing up needs doing and my child needs me to be with them all day so could you wash up?
My child needs some sensory toys to help them regulate them so could you help me pay for them?
My child can’t be safe in a car park but we need to go to the shop so could you drive us and drop us by the door or could you give us a disabled parking badge as they have an ‘invisible’ disability?
My child is really sick and needs to see a GP but is deeply anxious and unable to attend the surgery so could you please come to our home and come in calmly and gently to see them?
I need a shower and I need someone we know well to roleplay being a dog with my child for half an hour so they are comfortable for me to go.

You know, actual real help that comes from kindness and understanding, and from relationship!

The Undoing

17th January 2019

Lindsay Guttridge

However, the movement we truly want, the relief, the deep breath out, comes from a very different space. It comes from a heart space that we can’t connect with when we are pushing against what is here and now. The relief comes in with surrender, softness, acceptance, & connection.

PDA Society

The Responsible Parent

12th January 2019

Lindsay Guttridge

I see you We see you You are doing a wonderful wonderful job Asking questions matters! Connection & Compassion matter! Autonomy matters! Your wisdom matters! If today you are feeling wobbly I would like to hold your hand and reassure you that although you don’t have all the answers that no one else does either so sing your expertise with confidence and remember to smile and enjoy the ride.

The Break

9th January 2019

Lindsay Guttridge

“You need a break!” they say “I do” I say “You must be exhausted!” they say “I manage” I say “You should really take care of yourself” they say “I really do try” I say “Are you not willing to let any help in ? they say “I really am” I say!

Free Support

8th January 2019

Lindsay Guttridge

When we finally draw that line, we are sometimes perceived as angry, defensive, closed off, not coping etc, and we need our friends who understand (or at least know how hard it can be) to hold us a little deeper and more tenderly as we rebirth ourselves - not tougher - but more real, more open hearted and more aligned with our truth than ever before. #PDA #PathologicalDemandAvoidance

Happy (PDA) Birthday

28th August 2018

Lindsay Guttridge

Our children may find birthdays a wonderful and yet equally challenging time. Many of the amazing parents I connect with find it an overwhelming, exhausting, and emotional time themselves.

A video on ‘Stuckness’

22nd August 2018

Lindsay Guttridge

I hope you enjoy my thoughts on stuckness, options, freedom, and of course EFT in this video. Thankyou to those in our Peace With PDA group who inspired this topic. I hope it brings you some insights and relief.

PDA

Freshly Squeezed OJ

20th August 2018

Lindsay Guttridge

When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out - because that’s what’s inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what’s inside. Wayne W Dyer

BEing the parent I AM

11th August 2018

Lindsay Guttridge

I’m not flaky, disorganised, or inconsistent although I can appear that way to some because of the extreme flexibility I’ve chosen to give my child from my generous heart...as I see you doing also. I’m not over sensitive or fussy because I’m tuned into someone who depends on my emotional barometer to support them...as I see you doing also.

PDA Parents

Meditation for PDA Parents

2nd August 2018

Lindsay Guttridge

Before I turn you right off saying I’m going to talk about meditation can I please remind you I want only to help you tune into your own power, knowing, and well-being as a parent AND as a parent to a child with PDA myself I’m all about practical and easy to pick up ways to get there!

Pathological Demand Avoidance

Heart Centred Parenting Practice

30th July 2018

Lindsay Guttridge

“When a turbulent mind And a wounded heart Surrender to grace Breathing is easy” TG Hodge #PDA #PathologicalDemandAvoidance #PeaceWithPDA

Love PDA ‘Converstaions That Count!’

13th July 2018

Lindsay Guttridge

I pray for the day when PDA can be seen. When parents are not judged but supported and celebrated. Where we can say PDA and not have to explain what it is. Where humans can adapt to the needs of PDA people, that they just recognize, accept and know that we are all unique but we are also all from the same. For peace.

Unconditional Love 💖

9th July 2018

Lindsay Guttridge

There are ways you cannot change your child even if you should wish to. There are ways teachers, family, and society cannot change your child even if they should wish to. This makes our amazing children our greatest teachers of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!

Trauma ‘Converstations That Count’

3rd July 2018

Lindsay Guttridge

Lucy is an astounding Well Being Coach for parents, and could not before supportive or understanding of parents with PDA. Today she’s going to chat with us about trauma. Trauma in parents is a specialism for Lucy and something she recognises is regularly affecting parents of children with PDA.

PDA Acceptance

30th June 2018

Lindsay Guttridge

By no longer draining your energy away by looking back and wondering where you’ve been, why you did that, what you could have done differently etc you can focus your energy back onto where you would like to go next. Acceptance is deep self care! Acceptance is resilience!

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