It feels, doesn’t it, that in fact the very freedom I’m speaking to you of here is either at odds with your child’s need for autonomy and freedom OR your freedom is squashed and stifled in order for you to lovingly meet their needs as I know you so wish to. #PDA #PathologicalDemandAvoidance #Autism #AutisticRead More
Together we are being aware and choosing our place in this world deliberately where we are celebrating ourselves for the sensitive beings we are. The light bringers, the change makers, the soothers, the advocates, the open hearted and loving! Lining ourselves up with all we truly are. As we embrace the contrast that shows up in our lives and celebrate how that helps us see so clearly what we DO want for us and for our children, we are laying down an important path ahead. No one else can do this for us. This is our call to step up for our children, and for ourselves which is where all change truly happens. #PDA #PathologicalDemandAvoidanceRead More
Trust me, we put waaay to much pressure on ourselves! We don’t need anymore Thank-You! We come across goldmines like Facebook groups with other PDA parents in, and ‘The PDA Society’ website and we start to realise we are not alone and there is no blame here! Phew! That’s a massive relief and we set about finding out all the best ways to finally give our child the best of support and we, as advised by the experts, make adjustments to their environment. We see massive changes and all seems to finally be coming together. We start to see the light shine through. #PDA #PathologicalDemandAvoidanceRead More
It’s plain to see as a parent we just need someone to listen to us and our children, to take some time, and to work with us to bring some relief. However we don’t fit the ‘system’ and on time goes with the same... ‘You must come to us’ ‘You must fit our schedule’ ‘Your child must do as we say’ ...approach, until everyone is too tired and in too much pain to know where to turn next. As a society how has it come to such a lack of personal connection and compassion within the system we all call ‘care’?Read More
Raising a child or young person with Pathological Demand Avoidance takes us on a B-I-G journey as a parent. Because it’s the less trodden path we can feel a bit lonely and afraid as we walk it, & that’s OK! Actually, it’s the most wonderful invitation to find where the strength and answers truly lie - Within us my friend. The journey of any parent, undertaken consciously, will always highlight our shadows and invite us to grow. “It’s no surprise we fail to tune into our children’s essence. How can we listen to them, when so many of us barely listen to ourselves? How can we feel their spirit and hear the beat of their heart if we can’t do this in our own life?” Shefali Tsabary, The Conscious ParentRead More
We want to protect our children, rightly so, from deficit thinking, from feeling they are a problem because to us they are perfect. When we ask for support there seems to be a mindset that hears ‘Please change my child to make life easier’ and NO we just mean give us a hand! “Hey world...Read More
- My washing up needs doing and my child needs me to be with them all day so could you wash up?
- My child needs some sensory toys to help them regulate them so could you help me pay for them?
- My child can’t be safe in a car park but we need to go to the shop so could you drive us and drop us by the door or could you give us a disabled parking badge as they have an ‘invisible’ disability?
- My child is really sick and needs to see a GP but is deeply anxious and unable to attend the surgery so could you please come to our home and come in calmly and gently to see them?
- I need a shower and I need someone we know well to roleplay being a dog with my child for half an hour so they are comfortable for me to go.
However, the movement we truly want, the relief, the deep breath out, comes from a very different space. It comes from a heart space that we can’t connect with when we are pushing against what is here and now. The relief comes in with surrender, softness, acceptance, & connection.Read More
I see you We see you You are doing a wonderful wonderful job Asking questions matters! Connection & Compassion matter! Autonomy matters! Your wisdom matters! If today you are feeling wobbly I would like to hold your hand and reassure you that although you don’t have all the answers that no one else does either so sing your expertise with confidence and remember to smile and enjoy the ride.Read More
When we finally draw that line, we are sometimes perceived as angry, defensive, closed off, not coping etc, and we need our friends who understand (or at least know how hard it can be) to hold us a little deeper and more tenderly as we rebirth ourselves - not tougher - but more real, more open hearted and more aligned with our truth than ever before. #PDA #PathologicalDemandAvoidanceRead More
I’m not flaky, disorganised, or inconsistent although I can appear that way to some because of the extreme flexibility I’ve chosen to give my child from my generous heart...as I see you doing also. I’m not over sensitive or fussy because I’m tuned into someone who depends on my emotional barometer to support them...as I see you doing also.Read More
Before I turn you right off saying I’m going to talk about meditation can I please remind you I want only to help you tune into your own power, knowing, and well-being as a parent AND as a parent to a child with PDA myself I’m all about practical and easy to pick up ways to get there!Read More
I pray for the day when PDA can be seen. When parents are not judged but supported and celebrated. Where we can say PDA and not have to explain what it is. Where humans can adapt to the needs of PDA people, that they just recognize, accept and know that we are all unique but we are also all from the same. For peace.Read More
Lucy is an astounding Well Being Coach for parents, and could not before supportive or understanding of parents with PDA. Today she’s going to chat with us about trauma. Trauma in parents is a specialism for Lucy and something she recognises is regularly affecting parents of children with PDA.Read More